Scary Thoughts Postpartum: What Are They, How Common Are They?

In the media, postpartum life is often glorified. Television and social media influencers present postpartum life as a peaceful bonding experience between mother and child – and while this is certainly true, it also hides the many struggles mothers can face following birth. 

Birth can very often be a traumatic event, and while most are aware of the physical strains involved in pregnancy and birth, the mental impact is not nearly as discussed. 

One incredibly common issue mothers face postpartum is the presence of scary thoughts – ones that do not reflect their actual desires. As listed in our FAQ, some of these thoughts include: 

● Thoughts of suffocation or SIDS 

● Thoughts of accidents 

● Ideas or urges of intentional harm 

● Thoughts of losing the baby 

● Illness 

● Unacceptable sexual thoughts 

● Contamination 

These thoughts can certainly feel uncomfortable, and can even make you question your intentions, your baby’s safety, and your worth as a mother. It may even feel impossible to reach out, for fear that you’ll be judged, shunned, or defined by your thoughts. However, it’s important to note that having intrusive thoughts is not only normal throughout motherhood, but even in the general population.

According to a study conducted by Canadian PhD psychologist, Dr. Adam Radomsky, around 94.3% of people experienced different types of intrusive thoughts just within the 3 months before being asked. That’s the overwhelming majority of people. 

Psychologists agree that having scary intrusive thoughts is not a sign of being a bad mother – but rather – it's a treatable part of the constellation of stresses mothers often face. As written in our previous blog,“What If I Hurt My Baby?’: How OCD Can Show Up During Pregnancy”, scary thoughts like these can sometimes spiral into a day-to-day concern, sometimes causing overwhelming and even debilitating stresses. 

But whether you’ve been masking these thoughts well, or whether you feel like they’ve consumed your daily life, we offer services for all of these concerns. 

There’s no limit to the kinds of thoughts the brain can make up – and the therapists here understand that. As we’ve said before, we’re less concerned about the nature of your thoughts, and more concerned with reducing the distress they cause. So no matter how uncomfortable – no matter how wrong or inappropriate these thoughts seem, they are a reflection of just how stressful motherhood can be – not a reflection of you. 

So don’t be afraid to reach out. We hope to have shown you just how common having scary thoughts like these are, let alone while dealing with the overwhelming stresses of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood overall. You’re not alone – many mothers have dealt with these scary thoughts, and they’ve gotten through it. With the right support, you can too. 

Author: Ryan Elahi 

Reviewed by Dr. Sarah Haller, C. Psych, Clinical Psychologist